SA Fanfic - You Cut Me Down to Size

[arqueete]

Title: You Cut Me Down to Size
Fandom: Spring Awakening
Pairing: Melchior/Moritz
Rating: PG
Summary: Melchior analyzes a lot of things, but he tries not to analyze himself. He realizes, sometimes, though, that a part of him is a little too fascinated by other people.
Notes: I dedicate this... to ladyeshen and labellacaracol. Title from Coldplay's Swallowed In The Sea

Melchior analyzes a lot of things, but he tries not to analyze himself. He realizes, sometimes, though, that a part of him is a little too fascinated by other people. Other people -- their feelings, sometimes expected and sometimes irrational, and how he can prod at them, manipulate them, even, with his own actions and words. He doesn't really feel guilty about it, but sometimes he just... notices it there, notices that he does it without conscious thought – and that fascinates him a little too.

Moritz is one of those people. The ones who don't seem to have so much to hide. Melchior doesn't have to break Moritz apart like he does some people – when Moritz feels things, thinks things, they're on his sleeve. This might bore Melchior a little about other people, but Melchior likes being around Moritz. Sometimes he wonders if this is because Moritz likes being around Melchior and Melchior likes being liked, but that isn't the end of it. A part of him, perhaps, just likes how ordinary Moritz is. How much at the mercy of society that Moritz is. That Melchior knows, as long as he is connected to Moritz, he isn't too far from everyone else.

But Moritz is not entirely fragile, and Melchior pushes him often. He sees the confused jumble Moritz's thoughts and feelings are and sometimes he likes to prod at it a little. Prod with the things he says that Moritz doesn't like to talk about, with the way he looks Moritz in the eye before Moritz looks away, with the way he brushes up against Moritz just to see him jump in that nervous way. Melchior sees how much he can affect Moritz like that, sees how he feeds some of the feelings Moritz is trying to ignore. Maybe he should be a little bothered by this, maybe a little embarrassed that he's aware of these things, but he keeps on prodding because he loves that he has the ability to do that.

After a while, however, he's beginning to doubt the veracity in that. He worries, a little, that he likes the idea of being close to Moritz. Maybe, liking the idea of meeting his lips and feeling him pull away in surprise, to know what would go through Moritz's head and know what it's like to make a person think that way about you – but also just liking the act itself.

He wouldn't let himself find out entirely, however. Not that far. He wouldn't scare Moritz so much, wouldn't want to deal with the complications.

Wouldn't find out for sure how he feels about it.