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So, Mom oversleeps. I wait about 20 minutes, and while I'm usually very anxious, I felt very calm. I went up to the guidance office, sign the phone IOU, and call from the nurses' office. First time I call, the phone rings and rings, the answering machine doesn't get it. So I hang up and call again, the phone rings twice and then makes this high pitch beeping noise. I hang up and leave the office silently. When I get outside I know she won't come, I know I'll have to walk.
I know the way, Mom always told me that it was much too far and she wouldn't let me walk, but I know the way and 3/4ths the way down I'd hit the same intersection I had to cross when walking from the elementary school, besides the walks to the park and the library that had lead me to this area summers before.
I started walking down from the school, passing Edgerton, I had no eagerness to look back. I hated walking alone, I told myself again and again, but it didn't bother me because I wasn't walking alone...
I notice now as I type that I don't look at the keyboard nor do my wrist rest on the keyboard or the table, which is interesting. In Info Tech we're being taught the 'correct' way to type, and we're forced not to look at the monitor or the keyboard. I don't hunt and peck my usual way nor do I use bad posture yet I can type much, much faster.
Anyway, as I was passing a park Blaine and Robert came by on their bikes, and I stepped to the side for them just as Blaine swerved to the side to avoid me and we crashed into eachother, making Blaine lose his balance and skid to the ground. I asked him if he was okay, and he said he was fine, and they went on their way, all of us a little more startled.
So I kept walking, crossing the Round-a-bout by myself since the crossing guard was long gone, and while I was nearing the park, having walked for about 20 minutes, Mom pulled up with Jenn. Before I was even inside the car she demanded angrily, "Why didn't you call me?" "I did! TWICE!" I said, just as much angry if even more so. She was upset as we drove home, sure that it was some mistake I made that caused her not to get my calls. I was pissed. I had just walked most of the way home, which was very uncharacteristic of me, and I wasn't yelling at her for being seriously late, yet here she was yelling at me with only once uttering a 'Sorry' that sounded more obligatory than sincere.
So we returned home and found that the answering machine is indeed broken, I was telling the truth, not that I see how I could have lied. I hate walking alone. I'd think she would know that about me? If I weren't feeling particularly courageous I would've still been sitting there when she came. I wouldn't go without calling until I was sure I had no other choice.
Once I wore her cross to school. Her fine one. She had told me the day before when I complained I wish I had a cross that I was welcome to wear hers. I didn't tell her I was wearing it, but I was certain I had permission to. At school as I was changing in PE it slipped off the chain and I lost it. When she picked me up I told her so, frightened and ashamed. I expected her to be disappointed but I didn't expect her to lash back in anger. She told me I had no right to take her cross, that she never gave me permission to wear it that day. I was startled and became angry myself. I felt like I was being accused of stealing. It wasn't like I had taken money or something, like a lot of teens do, I thought I had permission to have it and I was upset enough that I had lost it. She told me she was angry with me and felt she had a right to be, and I hadn't even said I was sorry, and that made it worse than anything.
Kinda how I felt toward her now. She seemed more eager to blame everything on me than she was to admit her own mistake. She told me that if I was going to be upset about it I might as well take the bus.
I told her I would rather walk than take the bus, and I might as well. I'd proved I could do it well enough, hadn't I?
I feel betrayed. I could've felt angry toward her as I was walking, but I didn't.
I know the way, Mom always told me that it was much too far and she wouldn't let me walk, but I know the way and 3/4ths the way down I'd hit the same intersection I had to cross when walking from the elementary school, besides the walks to the park and the library that had lead me to this area summers before.
I started walking down from the school, passing Edgerton, I had no eagerness to look back. I hated walking alone, I told myself again and again, but it didn't bother me because I wasn't walking alone...
I notice now as I type that I don't look at the keyboard nor do my wrist rest on the keyboard or the table, which is interesting. In Info Tech we're being taught the 'correct' way to type, and we're forced not to look at the monitor or the keyboard. I don't hunt and peck my usual way nor do I use bad posture yet I can type much, much faster.
Anyway, as I was passing a park Blaine and Robert came by on their bikes, and I stepped to the side for them just as Blaine swerved to the side to avoid me and we crashed into eachother, making Blaine lose his balance and skid to the ground. I asked him if he was okay, and he said he was fine, and they went on their way, all of us a little more startled.
So I kept walking, crossing the Round-a-bout by myself since the crossing guard was long gone, and while I was nearing the park, having walked for about 20 minutes, Mom pulled up with Jenn. Before I was even inside the car she demanded angrily, "Why didn't you call me?" "I did! TWICE!" I said, just as much angry if even more so. She was upset as we drove home, sure that it was some mistake I made that caused her not to get my calls. I was pissed. I had just walked most of the way home, which was very uncharacteristic of me, and I wasn't yelling at her for being seriously late, yet here she was yelling at me with only once uttering a 'Sorry' that sounded more obligatory than sincere.
So we returned home and found that the answering machine is indeed broken, I was telling the truth, not that I see how I could have lied. I hate walking alone. I'd think she would know that about me? If I weren't feeling particularly courageous I would've still been sitting there when she came. I wouldn't go without calling until I was sure I had no other choice.
Once I wore her cross to school. Her fine one. She had told me the day before when I complained I wish I had a cross that I was welcome to wear hers. I didn't tell her I was wearing it, but I was certain I had permission to. At school as I was changing in PE it slipped off the chain and I lost it. When she picked me up I told her so, frightened and ashamed. I expected her to be disappointed but I didn't expect her to lash back in anger. She told me I had no right to take her cross, that she never gave me permission to wear it that day. I was startled and became angry myself. I felt like I was being accused of stealing. It wasn't like I had taken money or something, like a lot of teens do, I thought I had permission to have it and I was upset enough that I had lost it. She told me she was angry with me and felt she had a right to be, and I hadn't even said I was sorry, and that made it worse than anything.
Kinda how I felt toward her now. She seemed more eager to blame everything on me than she was to admit her own mistake. She told me that if I was going to be upset about it I might as well take the bus.
I told her I would rather walk than take the bus, and I might as well. I'd proved I could do it well enough, hadn't I?
I feel betrayed. I could've felt angry toward her as I was walking, but I didn't.
