Stole from Shelli, duh.

if I were a month I would be: November
if I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday
if I were a time of day I would be: 2 PM
if I were a planet I would be: Saturn
if I were a sea animal I would be: Manatee
if I were a direction I would be: Diagonal
if I were a piece of furniture I would be: A foot rest.
if I were a sin I would be: Dishonesty
if I were a historical figure i would be: Uh... Rosa Parks
if I were a liquid I would be: Lemonade
if I were a tree I would be: Pear Tree
if I were a flower/plant I would be: One of those pokey weeds
if I were a kind of weather I would be: A warm day with scattered showers.
if I were a musical instrument I would be: Viola! :D
if I were an animal I would be: A hermit crab.
if I were a color I would be: <span style="background-color:#F5FFFA;color:#000000;">Mint Cream</span>.
if I were a vegetable I would be: Cauliflower
if I were a sound I would be: That annoying sound Windows makes when it starts up. 'Dooo Doo Dooo Doo Doo'
if I were an element I would be: Americium
if I were a car I would be: Invisible :0
if I were a song I would be: Overture from Phantom of the Opera. DUUNNN Dun Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnn
if I were a movie I would be directed by: Joel Shumacher, and he would probably not research me first and decide to cast me as younger and sexier.
if I were a book I would be written by: Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
if I were a food I would be: One of Kopp's giant hamburgers
if I were a place I would be: Wisconsin Dells
if I were a taste I would be: Sweet and sour
if I were a scent I would be: Freshly cut grass
if I were a word I would be: Estobien
if I were an object I would be: A pancake
if I were a body part I would be: Foot
if I were a facial expression I would be: Horrified Confused Shock (a. k. a., Raoul's look during Point of No Return, which we have dubbed affectionately his, "Tell that masked man to get his hands off my fiancee!" look)
if I were a cartoon character I would be: Spongebob :0
if I were a shape I would be:  ♣
if I were a number I would be: 2