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That's one show that was brought up re: GTC but mostly I have the song stuck in my head. I wish I had it on Uncle Klaus, but I don't really need an emotional song right now anyway. I'm feeling a little emotionally fragile this morning. Usually I can blame these sorts of moods on PMS or stress or something but... today I just am. It's my last real week of high school. And, you know, today I'm told they're planting a tree for Justin. A group of people from the orchestra are going to go out there and play Danny Boy. I heard them rehearsing it this morning and it just catches in your throat.
I was really stupid today and forgot the huge photo project was due for Digital Arts and didn't even bring my camera. I desperately asked the teacher if I could call home and have my mom bring it and he said to just bring it tomorrow and don't worry about it. I was pretty panicked, devastated. I hate that feeling, but I haven't felt it in a long while -- haven't cared. But today I cared.
But really, I need high school to end. There is a lot here -- a lot I need to leave behind, to move on. Beyond that, there is a person I was here, things I became here, that are over and done and it's time to move past them. Ready or not. Accept reality and not cling to what ifs that exist in this time. Somedays aren't yours at all.
My goal for the year as in the calendar year was to take chances, be extraordinary. I think my goal for these last couple weeks leading up to graduation is change, acceptance, putting things to rest. Not just to deal with the change forced upon me but WANT change. Close lots of doors. Let them close. Trust that others will open. Realize that sometimes to get those new opportunities you HAVE to give up on the past. Meet new people. Try new things. ALLOW yourself to be lonely and to hurt and be lost.
I think it's good to be upset, afraid. To be something. Being alive.
So I get to leave a lot behind, both literally and symbolically, but I think what got me was Justin. To snap out of it and realize that this is LIFE and here's this boy that... I didn't really know well, was just always there, in and out of my classes over these 12 years of school, and this is where it ended for him.
I was really stupid today and forgot the huge photo project was due for Digital Arts and didn't even bring my camera. I desperately asked the teacher if I could call home and have my mom bring it and he said to just bring it tomorrow and don't worry about it. I was pretty panicked, devastated. I hate that feeling, but I haven't felt it in a long while -- haven't cared. But today I cared.
But really, I need high school to end. There is a lot here -- a lot I need to leave behind, to move on. Beyond that, there is a person I was here, things I became here, that are over and done and it's time to move past them. Ready or not. Accept reality and not cling to what ifs that exist in this time. Somedays aren't yours at all.
My goal for the year as in the calendar year was to take chances, be extraordinary. I think my goal for these last couple weeks leading up to graduation is change, acceptance, putting things to rest. Not just to deal with the change forced upon me but WANT change. Close lots of doors. Let them close. Trust that others will open. Realize that sometimes to get those new opportunities you HAVE to give up on the past. Meet new people. Try new things. ALLOW yourself to be lonely and to hurt and be lost.
I think it's good to be upset, afraid. To be something. Being alive.
So I get to leave a lot behind, both literally and symbolically, but I think what got me was Justin. To snap out of it and realize that this is LIFE and here's this boy that... I didn't really know well, was just always there, in and out of my classes over these 12 years of school, and this is where it ended for him.
